I am white, middle class, male, brunette, medium tall...

I keep telling myself I'm a freak.




I have been reading A Softer World, which is brilliant.


I am incredibly *normal*, according to my local culture's conditions of normality. You know, women, homosexuals, people who aren't white etc all get treated differently, all get defined by that particular aspect of themselves. People also talk about them as if the rest of their identity and personality could be discovered by merely knowing in what way they deviate from the sort of people that make up most of our MPs. Like gays are emotional and fashion conscious, girls are emotional and like chocolate but hate being fat, black people like rap and guns. Whatever. There are a lot more subtle ones as well. Oddly it tends to create a feedback loop, since people tend to become what is expected of them, to varying degrees. It takes a conscious will to defy expectations of societal norms.
Anyway, it must be annoying, to have people assume they know all about you cos they know one thing about you. I have been experiencing this a bit at my new job. I work pretty much entirely with women, and they like to say the boys are rubbish and the girls are much better. The funny thing about this is it creates lower expectations for the boys, so they don't have to try as hard... o well. Anyway, it bugged me a bit, but I can't complain. I generally don't get any persecution. Which is a bit dull really. It means I constantly have to define myself, which is a responsibility I don't always want. Can't you just stereotype me and I'll just rebel against each thing you assume of me and accuse you of being lazy? To an extent I do this anyway. I question my sexuality, my mental health, my religious views, my tastes, my practices... whatever they actually are, I always want to 'other' myself from everyone else. I guess really I just have to live with being the norm. It entails a little middle class guilt, you know? What group do I represent? The one that is excluding people from wealth and stuff. I guess this is why I became quite left wing etc. How can I stand on the outside with everyone else? O crap, I'm that guy from Avatar. I'm the self-proclaimed hero from the one side leading the other side (who couldn't have done it by themselves, apparently). Ah well, whatever, I'm broadly happy with my identity, and I can continue to tinker.